


Cooking With Rook

by DEPYOOOOOOTEEEE



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: F/M, amusing rook, idk bunker life i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-16
Updated: 2020-04-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23678629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DEPYOOOOOOTEEEE/pseuds/DEPYOOOOOOTEEEE
Relationships: no relationships because im too tired for that.
Kudos: 6





	Cooking With Rook

"JACOB" rook screams in hope he will respond. "WHAT?" "COME TURN ON MY CAMERA, IM GONNA ATTEMPT SOMETHING I SHOULDNT", After that Jacob walked into the kitchen figuring out how to set up the camera, rookie made sure that all of her cooking essentials were sprawled out on the counter preparing to cook. "You should be good." "Thanks i suppose, Now get out of my kitchen please." she said as Jacob walked out of the room mumbling something that sounded like an insult.

"Hello people of the future, my name is rook and this is cooking with rook. today im gonna attempt to make my grandmothers spaghetti and hopefully not burn the bunker down with all of us inside it. lets get started before i have a mental breakdown."  
"So first is the spaghetti sauce, your gonna wanna put tomato sauce in a bowl and heat up some balls of BEEF, than you drop that into the sauce like i dropped my dignity, and you stick it in the fridge."  
She stuck the bowl of spaghetti sauce in the fridge, and faith walked into the kitchen  
"watcha cooking?" rook gave her a glare. "Im making spaghetti, do you mind?" "Jeez, sorry i bothered your work space"  
faith walked out of the kitchen and rook grabbed a box of spaghetti noodles  
"Now since this bunker isnt stocked with the correct noodles, these ones will have to do." "at this point i have been mentally drained so i know nothing, im surprised im even functioning... LETS CONTINUE!!" Rook poured the box of noodles into a boiling pot of water "Not if your smart you actually waited 20 minutes just for noodles to warm up, cuz ya know. we are trapped in bunkers, And don't focus on the arguing in the room next to me." she stayed silent while still keeping the camera on record, recording John and Jacobs voice in the living room, smiling at the camera looking dead inside "DEPS COOKING JOHN, CAN YOU SHUT THE HELL UP FOR 5 MINUTES?!" "CAN YOU STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO FOR 5 MINUTES?!" after that she heard a yell and a smash, someone threw something at someone. it was probably glass and it probably was a bloody mess out of the kitchen. "Anyways, lets continue!" "After you put the spaghetti in the pot you set the timer for 23 minutes, after that you wanna open a bottle of whiskey and drown yourself in your sorrows."  
"DEP!!!" "Christ!" "jacob just threw a mug at me and it the glass cut my cheek" "And what am i supposed to do?" "Can you help me-" "No get out of the kitchen."  
John stomped out of the kitchen and rook proceeded to look at the camera like i crazy person.  
"Ya know i used to go to the rye BBQ's and make some shrimp... YA WANNA PUT THE SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE?, but im not lying i actually brought shrimp once, and i gave everyone including me food poisoning... i can't figure out why i was allowed at more of those BBQ'S after that incident."  
Joseph walked into the kitchen with a mountain of blankets covering him. "Why the hell do you have all of the blankets from the closet on your body?" "I-I'm just a L-Little cold"  
"JOHN WHATS THE THERMOSTAT SET TO?" "30 DEGREES". she looked at joseph with a crazy look, then naruto ran to the thermostat and set it to 70 degrees, "Joseph go back to the living room and dont come back in here, Im trying to do something here. i dont need blanket man in here breathing down my neck."  
"OKAY, anyways its been atleast 16 minutes so the pastas almost done, next we are making brownies, i bought this mi and stuck it in the pantry without dutch knowing... last week, ya know before the world decided to commit alt F4? yeah before that"  
"Ya know i used to actually bake on the weekends when i would hide in here after getting almost brutally murdered or terribly injured, i dont rest, i stay up and wander around like a mindless drone" she said as she paused and smiled at camera like a mad man, "Im mentally ill, moving on"  
"so you just mix until you executed all light brown powder and mixed it in with the other ingredients" she put some batter in her mouth, "SALMONELLA!" "Ya know i used to make cupcakes, and once i was eating some by the lake and sharky pushed me and the cupcakes into the water, yeah well after that i almost drowned sharky for ruining my cupcakes... Is it obvious i drink energy drinks?", she put more batter in her mouth before putting the pan in the oven. she turned on her phone and put on some in this moment before proceeding to chug the whiskey bottle, " AdReNiLiZe mE WhOoP WhOoP" "Mkay so the spaghetti is ready, so now we get the sauce, and stick that in a pan, this is to make sure you dont have cold spaghet sauce... dead meme i know but i really could care less"

30 minutes pass after torture

"Okay and we are done, now time to feed my worst enemies and lock myself in the bathroom and cry myself to sleep in the bathtub, this was cooking with rook, and i will probably see you never for eternity! TaTa"


End file.
